Bearded lady at poetry reading

The other evening, I accidentally wandered into a poetry reading at a local coffee shop. The audience was a mix in ages, though not in type. Looking at them, it reminded me of that pictorial depiction of life, where first you see a baby, then a child, then a man, and finally, a geezer.

Young men were scribbling in their notebooks, looking like every girl's best friend. The emcee was a pale guy (and this is LA) with a paunch and glasses, who seemed loath to give up the microphone to the poets he was introducing. There were little clusters of hippie ladies, who looked peeved they no longer had to fight for their right to go bra-less and so had to find some other cause to suit their expression.

Two such long-skirted ladies stared at me like an interloper when I took an empty seat on a couch.

"She was planning on sitting there," said the one sitting next to me. I looked up at her friend, who was seated at a table, and made as if to stand up. The friend stared at me...then twitched her eyebrows; I took it to mean I could remain sitting.

A few minutes later, she got up and read a poem about her spirit breaking free, or something like that.

After her, the emcee took the mike and gave a long introduction to someone who was "a regular" at their readings, even though she had to take a bus all the way from San Pedro. That's how devoted she was. Would everyone please welcome So-And-So.

Up stood an old bearded lady wearing plaid pants. She had a white billy goat beard flowing from her chin, and it looked like she cherished it, as it was quite silky. She then proceeded to recite not a poem, but a rambling reminiscence about when she was in high school and made out with some boy and then got a bad grade in school.

There was a long pause after she finished speaking...not because we were all contemplating her words, but because everyone was dozing off. The emcee jerked awake and grabbed the mike from her, thanking her too profusely for her contributions.

Then he said, "You regulars know what's coming next! You know I'm going to keep doing it until someone laughs!" He pulled out an old tv and turned on a tape of William Shatner reading a poem.

I guess he'll be playing Shatner next time, as well.